This story took me a little while to post. I have a broken heart and well, it is hard enough to get up – let alone expose yourself via a blog. I guess maybe this story speaks to being tough, but when do I get to stop having to be tough and start getting to be happy?
A note: If you're not into booze, you won't like this recipe. If you're not into quirky, you won't like this post.
When I was 7 or so, my mother took me to the doctor for what she believed were the measles. Head-to-toe, I had about 50 red bumps all over my body with 4 to 5 new spots appearing daily. Alas, it was not measles... Although my mother is one of the best housekeepers I know and has always maintained a house of museum-quality cleanliness, three spiders had built a nest under my bed. Each night - they feasted.
To this day, arachnids can send me into a panic ala Ronald Weasley. I have been known to jump out of bed from a deep sleep screaming about spiders in the bed, even at 30. I won't watch "Fear Factor" when they bring out the tarantulas. Plastic spider rings at Halloween... yeah, you can keep those to yourself. Brown recluse? I'd rather take on a Great White. Well, maybe let's agree those are just equally scary.
I only learned to kill spiders by myself a little while ago. Living alone, you can't really point and scream until someone else smushes the creepy crawly. I tried for a little while to just capture them in an overturned bowl, but then I was throwing away a lot of bowls. I am equally scared of anything that might have spider germs.
Fast forward to last Saturday morning. I noticed a tiny green spider on the wall above my bed. I winced and gathered some tissue to be rid of the pest. As I went in for the kill, I noticed that the spider had lost it's 2 back left legs and was making due with 6 instead of 8. This spider has had a tough life.
I couldn't do it. I’ve been kicked when down too many times. This spider and I had something in common. I’m still waiting for someone to choose me. I’m tired of things that I think are "too good to be true" ending…I couldn’t “end it” for this spider.
When I was 7 or so, my mother took me to the doctor for what she believed were the measles. Head-to-toe, I had about 50 red bumps all over my body with 4 to 5 new spots appearing daily. Alas, it was not measles... Although my mother is one of the best housekeepers I know and has always maintained a house of museum-quality cleanliness, three spiders had built a nest under my bed. Each night - they feasted.
To this day, arachnids can send me into a panic ala Ronald Weasley. I have been known to jump out of bed from a deep sleep screaming about spiders in the bed, even at 30. I won't watch "Fear Factor" when they bring out the tarantulas. Plastic spider rings at Halloween... yeah, you can keep those to yourself. Brown recluse? I'd rather take on a Great White. Well, maybe let's agree those are just equally scary.
I only learned to kill spiders by myself a little while ago. Living alone, you can't really point and scream until someone else smushes the creepy crawly. I tried for a little while to just capture them in an overturned bowl, but then I was throwing away a lot of bowls. I am equally scared of anything that might have spider germs.
Fast forward to last Saturday morning. I noticed a tiny green spider on the wall above my bed. I winced and gathered some tissue to be rid of the pest. As I went in for the kill, I noticed that the spider had lost it's 2 back left legs and was making due with 6 instead of 8. This spider has had a tough life.
I couldn't do it. I’ve been kicked when down too many times. This spider and I had something in common. I’m still waiting for someone to choose me. I’m tired of things that I think are "too good to be true" ending…I couldn’t “end it” for this spider.
In honor of my first act of mercy on spiders and in hopes karma will someday return the favor, I give you the 6-legged spider, surely everyone's new favorite desert drink.
6-Legged Spider
* Ingredients *
1 oz Vodka
2 oz lemon lime soda
2 small scoops lime sherbet
Six lime garnishes
* Instructions *
1. Pour vodka into martini glass. Add soda.
2. Top with sherbet and garnishes
PS I am not crazy nor drunk on 6-legged spiders. Life is just better with a little imagination. Cheers to Elliot, where ever you are.
Love you hottie 1. You're going to be great, fantastic even. Believe in yourself. And call me anytime you need some spider company :)
ReplyDeletehottie 2
Stayling alive Hottie 2. Some moments only barely, but Mad Stowe is not tougher than ADHD.
ReplyDelete